Childhood memories are funny things: They reveal a lot about the way you think about the world, and the way you looked at it from a young age. As long as you’ve got a couple years to cushion you from it, it can be a time that’s rich with funny stories and little observations. What’s something you’ve been really proud of lately? Eating that super-hot chili on the “Dare You” menu at the local diner? If you’re going out together, it’s fair to assume that you and your date are both in the dating game. For me, it would be my photo albums and my childhood stuffed animal, but their question will tell you what they could not bear to lose. The goal of dates is to have a good time and figure out if you want to see more of this person.It’s a great way to learn a little bit more about their background and spark a discussion about the way you both grew up. You want to know where someone came from, but it can be a delicate subject. The way that someone saw themselves in high school when they were can say a lot about who they are. Maybe it’s hitting a time goal on a run or learning how to make pesto or finally getting the hang of something at work. If reading is something you’re into, this is a good way of seeing what tastes you share and what interests your date. It’s a good way to take a peek into their ambitions and dreams. It’s a weird one, and it helps to commiserate over it. Hopefully some of these questions will help you on your way.There aren’t hard and fast rules about what’s a good vs. Research has shown that the most effective communication style in relationships is a flexible one. Why: This is primarily relevant if you're either an extreme night or an extreme morning person. The examples below are intended to stimulate your own ideas rather than as rules. Why: Is the person about to make any major life changes e.g., leave their 0K/year job to go back to school? Do they see it as a job, a vocation, or are they primarily motivated by climbing the career ladder? Consider popping a few of these questions on your next first date and see where they lead the conversation. What do they wish they could have done differently, if anything? You don’t have to rapid fire interrogate someone, of course, but it can lead to a conversation about their past that’s meaningful but still light. This isn’t meant to prompt a confession of your date’s failures. What about you, what do you wish you were better at? This question will let your date show their vulnerable side, and admit to something they’re not entirely comfortable with, particularly if you chip in first to show solidarity.If nothing else, you’re bound to get some interesting answers. Maybe it’s about being with their pet dog in the backyard or the smell of their grandmother’s house. The best way to approach it is as a light-hearted thing by offering an example of your own. ” Or, “True fact, I didn’t learn how to tie my shoes until I was in high school.” It’s a way of letting your guard down and laughing at yourself, a very attractive quality, and an invitation for your date to do the same. What things would you save if your apartment were on fire?(L-r) RYAN GOSLING as Jacob and EMMA STONE as Hannah in Warner Bros. w=670" data-large-file="https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/crazy-stupid-love-movie-image-ryan-gosling-emma-stone-02.jpg? w=1024&h=683 1024w, https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/crazy-stupid-love-movie-image-ryan-gosling-emma-stone-02.jpg? w=2048&h=1366 2048w, https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/crazy-stupid-love-movie-image-ryan-gosling-emma-stone-02.jpg? w=150&h=100 150w, https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/crazy-stupid-love-movie-image-ryan-gosling-emma-stone-02.jpg? w=670&h=447 670w, https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/crazy-stupid-love-movie-image-ryan-gosling-emma-stone-02.jpg? w=768&h=512 768w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" to be a precursor to an actual relationship, first dates are also mini-interviews disguised as social outings, whether we like to admit it or not. They’ll also further loosen the two of you up and can lead to some funny, entertaining conversation. Pictures’ comedy “CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE.” a Warner Bros. " data-medium-file="https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/crazy-stupid-love-movie-image-ryan-gosling-emma-stone-02.jpg? That’s why figuring out what to talk about ahead of time with a list of good first date questions and conversation starters is so important. Are you more of a TV person, or do you prefer movies? Depending on the above answer, ask what they’re watching, or what they’ve seen lately.
We’re wired so that once we start to develop an emotional attachment this is hard to break away from. Why: Different vacation preferences or amounts of vacation time can be a major source of ongoing incompatibility. Why: This question helps establish if your date has a positive or negative attitude? Why: Helps you find out the person's preferences and also helps you establish if the person has any free time or if they're a workaholic. That doesn't always mean you're incompatible — just that we are humans, and dating can be awkward.It can be hard to figure out what to ask without making it seem like you're interrogating your date.You are anxious and going out on a date with a relative stranger can feel awkward.Remember that your counterpart is likely to be as nervous as you though, even if they don’t look it!
As a coach I listen a lot more than I talk, it’s the nature of what I do.