This past Thursday, when I awoke to news of the disastrous Tianjin factory explosion, I didn’t think things could get any worse.
Then I saw this photo in a We Chat group I belong to, where one of the women recounted her horrifying discovery of a bloodied Chinese woman, stabbed to death by a katana sword, while passing through Beijing’s popular Sanlitun neighborhood.
The comments all go to my spam folder now (I have a personal policy about keeping hate speech off the site), but he still keeps ’em coming.
He’s clearly one of the douchebags that Shanghai Shiok author Christine Tan once referred to as “taking up way too much discussion space on the Internet.” Still, his comments got me thinking, White men have always been seen as the default in interracial dating. That’s one of the reasons I started this site — I got tired of NOT seeing voices like mine out there, showing the world that, yes, Western women can love Chinese men (and have a hell of a good time doing it).
It’s as if society’s general understanding of Interracial dating = colored women dating white guys. We’re not just biding our time in Beijing with a blanket, a stack of pirated DVDs and a quart of Haagen Dazs, waiting until the next moment when we board that plane back to London or New York City or Rio.
My idea of “responsible” meant only getting involved in relationships that had significant meaning–ones built on common interests and a deep understanding, raising one another to higher levels of being.
We’ve loved musicians and MBAs, doctors and dreamers, businessmen and Buddhist monks.
And we’re not just white women either — we’re also black women, Latinas, Indian women and more.
This was the side, and I saw my use of its more basic satisfactions both as a necessary byproduct of being a man and as a reliance when I’m not at my best.
(When the defenses are down, the animal is there to run the show.)This animal side was alerted even before I arrived.
Such an impossible situation is made possible by Chinese women who aren’t able to say “no” when it comes to expat men.